I met Keith's family a week or two after we decided to actually admit we were dating lol. His mom and I got along from the start and his brothers treated me like a sister instantly. I've been pretty lucky in the in-law department but I can't help but feel a little guilt that I took Keith away from them. I'm pretty sure it's all in my head but I feel like we are treated differently being in Allentown while everyone else is 2 hours away in Waymart. While it was Keith's choice to stay here after graduation, I know I'm the reason people think he stayed. I feel the guiltiest at this time of year when the talk of "where are we going for the holidays" comes up. This will be the first year we can't just go our separate ways and make both family's happy, we had to decide whose family we will spend each holiday with.
Almost every marriage article I read in Brides magazine said in-laws and money are the 2 most frequent arguments and now I understand why! Being 2 hours away makes it even more difficult, especially when we are the only ones who are far away. I feel left out alot, I worry and get upset that my kids won't have that side of the family to be close with and that it will be my fault. I get upset that the rest of his family helps each other out with everything and Keith and I are left here to fend for ourselves or that we are always the ones who have to make the trip, rarely do they visit us.
I know that it could be worse, I have married friends whose in-laws are real monsters but sometimes I can't help but wonder if it's worth it to just move.
Steph, yours & Keith's situation is like my parents. They moved 2 hours from Scranton down to where I grew up. I remember being up there every weekend when I was little and my brother and I even each spent a week at the opposite grandparents to give my parents a break in the summer. I know it's been difficult for my parents to be far(ther) away from other family members, but I'm glad I grew up where I did. I think the traveling has been harder on my parents now that their parents are older. It's always really special, even to this day, to me to "go to my grandparents" and I have a lot of great memories from it. Don't stress too much about it because you and Keith will find YOUR way of doing things. Like Meghan said on your previous post, it won't always be easy, but I think it'll be worth it :) Keith's family is lucky to have you (and vice versa).
ReplyDeleteThanks Josie! I never thought of it in the way that it will be a special thing for my kids to visit their grandparents because it wont be an everyday thing
ReplyDeletehopefully when the day comes it will all work out